i've finally got round to joining the site (after over 2 years lurking!
i was born into jws, pioneered for 10 years (met my husband at pioneer school).
had health issues that saw me catapulted away from 'the centre of the cong' and wow what a different place that was!
Welcome Peony ! So nice to see so many are waking up in such a big way . My husband and I had a very similar experience .
I too use to have severe anxiety and depression problems ,that cleared up after getting free from the pressures of the JWs .
It does take time to decompress. I think it took us a good three years to get back onto stable ground after we left .
How are you and your husband coping with the loss of family and friends ?
i've been fading for about 9 months.
the elders know exactly why.
i received a phone call a couple of days ago.
even though i'm no longer mentally a jw (i still technically am) i do recognize that there are some benefits to being raised one.
for example, the first (and only so far) wordly guy i was involved with had to smoke weed every day and got drunk all the time and that was his idea of fun.
i couldn't help but feel bad for him.
Yes ,I assure you there are some truly amazing people out there . I could see that even when I was still an active JW. I never liked the way Witnesses lumped everyone not a JW as 'worldly ', as if that was a bad thing . I could ,even back then ,look around in my own community and see some loving,kind people that were moral and lived modest lives . People are just people every where . Some are good some are not ...just the same within the JW organization .
Take the time to really get to know a variety of people before you judge.
so i usually get dressed for school at my job.
i couldn't today so i figured i'd drive by my parent's house and ask if i could change there seeing as they live two blocks from my house.
as i am pulling up to my parent's i see a familiar face.
I am sorry you had to experience that treatment . I will never understand someone like your sister .She has been DF'd before ,and knows how horrible it feels ,yet is okay to treat you that way . Makes no sense to me .
Your story reminded me that last weekend I was driving down my street and saw my brother and sister in law in there car across from me at the stop sign . It didn't register to me until I passed who they were ....I have not seen them in over 5 yrs ! They shun me ..... I wondered if they were driving past my house on purpose ,but I assume they were just in the area visiting a JW that lives down the block .
well i know i've been posting a lot of topics like this lately and i'm sorry if i sound whiny or annoying.
my parents were asking me why i was so upset lately and i ended up just telling them the whole truth.
i told them i don't believe in god or the bible because i don't have any evidence of anything.
You are 16 . You still live under your parents rules . Keep the peace ,but expand your mind . Now is a great time to read books on critical thinking skills . These skills will go with you the rest of your life .
Please ask your parents about allowing you to increase your education exposure . You have plenty of time to learn and live .I promise Armageddon is not near or just around the corner. Please do not let the unfounded fears Jehovah's Witnesses ingrain in their members hinder you .
I was once much like you . Young and afraid . I was raised as a JW. I worried so much about the end coming . My Dad was not a Witness ,my oldest brother was DA'd . I was so concerned that they would die if the end came ! But of course none of those fears ever came true ......Realize that I was born in the 1960's ! When I was a child my Mother was so sure the end was soooo near because the world was in such turmoil .America was in the cold war with Russia ,my Dad was fighting in Vietnam ,the United States was having Civil rights riots, the President of the U.S.A. was assassinated !
She told me I would never have to go to kindergarten because the end would come before that .....then when that didn't happen she said I would never go to High School .....then get married ...or have children ......Guess What ? I am 54 yrs old now and I went to School ,graduated ,and raised my own family . But that fear I was raised under kept me from going to college ,or believing I could excel in any personal goals such as music or art . I lived most of my life feeling trapped in someone else's definition of life .
Believing the 'end is near' stops a person from living life now ! It wastes a persons true potential .
Live your life preparing for your future ....because your future will come and go just as it has done for everyone that has lived before you .
hi everyone, this is my first post so go easy on me :) i have been a witness all of my life (i'm 37) and truly believed it until 3 years ago.
my husband and i had become spiritually weak and over time i began to question more and more until i came to the conclusion that the witnesses were not the true religion but just one of many religions and that if god is there then there are many paths to get to him.
anyway, i've battled with keeping going as my husband still believed and i didn't want to be in a divided household as we have a young daughter and thought it would be very confusing for her (and us).
I like your name Theburstbubble ! Welcome to the rest of your life . Take your time there is no rush to have all the answers at once. Yes it is a scary step to take ,but seriously will be the best one I think you can make for your daughter .
When I left I felt the need for a spiritual community ,and attended a Church down the street . I am glad I did ,because all my life I had been told so many lies about 'worldly' churches .I wanted the chance to see for myself . Everything I had been told was a LIE . It was a good experience for me ,but over time I found I just didn't need it anymore . You won't know unless you try . This is what I find so amazing being out of the JWs is that now I can fully decide for myself whatever I want to do or not do.
Best wishes on your journey ! ENJOY
about a month ago i posted what had happened to two elderly sisters who were reprimanded by a couple of elders for crying because the jw broadcasting was going to be stopped at the kingdom hall and it was up to each publisher to learn how to use the internet.
if you recall the sisters got together with my mom and talked about it and it resulted in all of them declining to make meals for the pioneers.
here is the link.
lostwun here, i joined 2 months ago but am now just finding the courage after doing more research to formally introduce myself to the board and embrace my new beginnings as an ex-jw.
i am a second-generation jw.
i grew up with parents who are well known and very respected in many circuits.
Yes Dubstep has some great suggestions ! I found after I read Ray Franz books my mind became much more calm and free .
You said ,"ive been conditioned so long to care what other people think about me that to finally step out on my own and not care is nervewrecking!!" .....I remember those feelings so well !
When you begin to realize these people have NO power over you ,unless you give it to them ,you will begin to lessen the anxiety .
For example going out to eat with a co-worker is not bad ! You are only conditioned to think that way . Now you have to re-condition your thought processes . When you begin to feel anxious over something ask yourself ,WHY ? If it has no real basis then let it go .
Here are some stock answers someone told me to use when I was first fading . If a witness sees you at the store and asks " Where have you been ,we miss you " You can answer 'Oh thank you ' It is kind for you to say so " PERIOD ,they don't need to know any more . When they pry for more information say " Oh I am sorry ,it is personal and I could not imagine discussing that with you ." RINSE and REPEAT .....it works !
lostwun here, i joined 2 months ago but am now just finding the courage after doing more research to formally introduce myself to the board and embrace my new beginnings as an ex-jw.
i am a second-generation jw.
i grew up with parents who are well known and very respected in many circuits.
Welcome Lostwun !
Oh I remember so well that sick ache in my stomach when I knew I was leaving ,and so anxious on how my husband and family would react.
Do take it slow . I rushed it ,and it really scared him . We love each other very much ,but he equated leaving the JW's as leaving him . Over some tearful discussions I finally made it clear I was devoted to him ,but could not follow an organization I no longer believed in.
My best advice would be to start rebuilding your social network . Make date nights with your husband to strengthen your relationship .Find a hobby or volunteer group you can get involved with that you can do while he is away at meetings .
It is really hard at first ,but once the fear and guilt starts wearing off you will find it is pretty great to be free!
If you would like to personal message any one on here look at the top of the page .There is a letter symbol for mail . Click on a users name and send a pm if you want . I will send you one now !
so i ran into this brother whom ive known for a while and the conversation led into me being invited to come back to the kingdom hall.
we talked for about an hour during which time i explained to him 607 being the wrong date and a lot of other stuff including the child abuse cases in australia.
but what i wanted to relate was the last few minutes of our conversation.
This is exactly what my JW sister wants to believe .
She does not want to know if something is really true or not .She just wants to believe the fairy tale that she will one day wake up in a paradise Earth healed from all her medical issues . The illusion that one day she will walk among pet lions and panda bears is what keeps her going .Reality is too frightening to her .
We no longer discuss anything relating to the religion . Her life sucks ,and if being among other JWs is what brings her some sort of happiness so be it .
